Someone Farted In The Garden Of Eden


He pictures her
A tiara of wild flowers in her hair,
A smile as radiant as the midday summer sun,
The body of a goddess.
Perfection in perpetual motion.

Then the weeds appear.
The dresser becomes a cosmetics counter,
His closet space shrinks by 93.6%,
And once a month, she becomes a she devil with an attitude.
Someone Farted In The Garden Of Eden.

She pictures him
A knight in shining armor,
Strength personified by dignity,
Stoically intellectual and philosophical.
The man of her dreams.

Then she hears the squeak of rusting steel.
She splashes down because he leaves the seat up,
His idea of a gourmet meal is pizza with everything on it,
And he snores like a gorilla in heat.
Someone Farted In The Garden Of Eden.

They picture themselves together
Running together across a field of poppies,
Strolling hand in hand along the avenue,
In front of the fireplace on a snowy evening.
Harmony, peace, comfort, warmth. LOVE.

Then reality sets in.
He always forgets to take the trash out,
She whines about everything,
They argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes,
Feed the dog, vacuuming the carpet,
His dirty socks on the floor,
Her pantyhose on the shower curtain rod,
Her ex, his ex, her mother, his mother,
Chick flick or action/adventure movies,
His golf and her shopping.

Someone Farted In The Garden Of Eden.